THINKABLES Book 2

Close Encounters

Way back in 1977 the movie "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" drew a lot of us to the box office. In the movie Roy Neary sets out to investigate a power outage when his truck stalls and he is bathed in light from above. After this, strange visions and five musical notes keep running through his mind. Will he find the meaning of the visions, and who or what placed them in his mind? The US Government determines where extraterrestrial visitors plan to land and they create an elaborate cover-up to keep people away. However, a group of people, including Neary, share a vision which draws them to the UFO landing place and a meeting with new, and old, friends.

Clearly Steven Spielberg was looking into the future with knowledge of reports of past UFO sightings when he made this creative movie. Many were enthralled by this movie in proportion to how close they were to reports of past UFO sightings. My wife's sister's second husband was one of those who related to reported UFO sightings near Roswell, NM. But before you dismiss this movie or this subject, let me ask you what has been your closest encounter with something beyond yourself that seemed powerful and profound, but that you had very little understanding of? While you are recalling, let me summarize a true story of just such a spectacular encounter.

Saul of Tarsus had the best Jewish training and the privileges of being born a Roman citizen. He apparently felt he had most all the answers about God, so much so that he served as judge and jury to haul this new sect know as "the Way" into prison where they could be tortured or even killed. For example he consented to Stephen's death by stoning and even held his coat while Saul's friends killed him.

But as Saul approached Damascus with all the documentation and authority needed to collect more Christians for prison, he too was bathed in an extraordinarily bright light from above. His companions also saw the light, but only Saul heard the voice. "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?" Saul tried to find out who this was and was told this was Jesus whom Saul was persecuting. Now if you were proactively hauling members of a new religious sect off the streets into prison to "help God out," how would you feel if the leader of this sect (Jesus) who had been killed by your leaders encountered you in this way with this message?

For starters in considering how Saul might have felt, the cover-up story that Jesus' disciples overpowered guards and a huge stone sealing his grave and stole him away was now up in smoke since Jesus was alive and talking to him. But what about this message that by persecuting Christians Saul was actually persecuting Jesus? Whom did Saul think he was persecuting? Saul thought he was deliberately persecuting Christians of "the Way" and he thought that would be pleasing to God since they were a new sect. How did that relate to what Jesus said? Jesus said Saul was persecuting Him. That means that when Saul persecuted Christians he was really persecuting Jesus because Jesus was in the Christians and Jesus identified so closely with them as His own. For example, Jesus prayed in John 17 for Christians to be one with Him just like Jesus and the Father are one.

Just as Roy Neary was strangely drawn to the UFO landing site, Saul was strangely drawn to Jesus whom he had been persecuting. Saul began to cooperate with Jesus and followed His instructions in order to receive his sight once more. Saul now called the One he had persecuted Lord, and acted in strict obedience to Him. He soon became a powerful witness for Jesus, largely due to the sufferings Saul endured to become His messenger of reconciliation between God and man.

I love how well the Chinese understand this close encounter between God and man in which Jesus identifies so intimately with His followers. In some churches in China they welcome a new believer by saying, "Jesus now has a new pair of eyes to see with, new ears to listen with, new hands to help with, and a new heart to love others with."

Have you had this close encounter with Jesus? He is waiting for you to begin to walk in the light as He is in the light. You too can experience alongside Saul and John Newton (slave trader and author of the popular song "Amazing Grace") "I once was blind, but now I see!"

Drawing on the right side of your brain

A few of you may have seen a book titled " Drawing on the right side of your brain." It talks about using the right side of your brain to support creative and artistic endeavors. And even more of you are aware that women typically use the right and left sides of their brain most of the time (more later) while men mostly plod along relying only on the logic and structure the left side of the brain affords. Of course all of us use only a tiny fraction of our full brain capacity.

Guys need to stay tuned to learn how to better appreciate and "understand" the females in your family. For example, think of your wife as a vacuum cleaner running all waking hours, sucking up information continually and processing it along with all prior stored information, much like a cow chews her cud. We all understand the moment of insight when things gel for the scientist, who yells, "eureka, I've found it!" Women's intuition might appear to be like this, but actually it is the result of such processing that has been going on over a long period of rumination, until the puzzle pieces finally fit together at last.

So what? Well if you guys stay tuned a little longer you can learn how to work with this process instead of working against it, or resenting it. For example when you see your wife after you have been at work, checking email, or otherwise obtaining information, you can deliberately sit down and initiate a data dump, telling her what you found out. When she asks probing questions that seem to get into trivial detail, just remember this is all information fodder for her "main frame." Pay back day for you will certainly come later with a pungent insight, warning, or some advice on how to avoid a painful pitfall. If you occasionally throw in some expressions of how you FEEL about the items you are disclosing, that might even turn out better than taking her out for a steak dinner.

Guys can design computers, even half-perceptrons that transfer computer-learned information to another half-perceptron, but we will never duplicate the right-brain intuitive (synthesis) processing we've outlined today. But we CAN cooperate with it and reap mutual benefits. GE has a great slogan; "Communication is our most important product." What would happen around our homes if the guys voluntarily began letting the women in on what they have been doing? Just think of the respect factor alone for your wife to think that you care enough about her to initiate communications and to patiently answer her questions!

The spiritual analog is pretty obvious isn't it? What better way to communicate between God and man than for Jesus to take the TIME and show the RESPECT to come, live among us and experience life as we do? He not only showed us how to really live, but he instructed His special men with daily commentary on what to do and what not to do. And He patiently followed up with gentle corrections to get them back on track. Not only that but He had his scribes write so much of it down for us that it takes about a year to read it all at the rate of several chapters a day.

But the best way to read it is to first welcome it's author into your life as your savior and Lord. THEN you can read it like a love letter from Him to you. I know, I've read it both ways. And it's just like He is patiently taking the communication initiative with you to give you data dumps on what He thinks and how He feels. You'll find He also frequently comes out with some very special pungent insights, warnings, and advice. Try it, you'll like it!

All I Want for Christmas is my two Front Teeth

" All I Want for Christmas is my two Front Teeth" was sure a popular song a ways back, wasn't it. That catchy tune stuck in our brains and we replayed the melody over and over. Everybody wants something for Christmas, which just might account for some of that song's popularity. So what do you want this coming Christmas? It's not too early to submit your wish list, you know. But it is getting a little late to clean up your act if your Santa keeps a record of who is naughty and who is nice.

If you listened closely to the October NAMI Information meeting you heard a recurring theme from the panel of three persons as they shared with us what it is like to have mental illness. Their primary wish is to be normal. But a close second is their wish to be treated normally. Everyone wants that, but many who already have it, take it for granted.

But here is the good news this Christmas. Have you ever been to a "come as you are" party? One of the benefits of that was that you didn't have to spend time "getting ready." And wasn't it kind of flattering to be "chosen" or "kidnapped" to that impromptu party? Well, the good news this Christmas is that Jesus is having a "come as you are Birthday Party" and He has invited you! And better yet, He is granting you your wish to be treated normally!

How do I know? Because we read in His dependable promise book, the Bible, that He spent a whole lot of His time visiting with folks that everyone else shunned, ignored, or put down as not worthy of being treated normally. But Jesus sought them out and showed them how very important they were to Him. His love and sacrifice for them evoked miraculous transformations in their lives. But you have the opportunity to not only attend His party, but you can also invite Him into the home of your heart as your own savior and intimate friend. He will always treat you with respect, dignity, and "way above normal," because He sees you as someone He was willing to die for. People called Him crazy, so He knows how that feels too. So why not R.S.V.P for His party today?

Do you believe in Ghosts?

Do you believe in Ghosts? Several movies have enjoyed success due to the intrigue and curiosity surrounding things we cannot see that seem to surround us. Before we know it, Halloween will be here again, and you might even find some little neighbors wrapped in a sheet, playing ghost at your front door. Whether you believe in ghosts or not, it's wise to treat them kindly when they knock on your door so they get a treat and you avoid a trick. And it's very likely that somewhere around your town someone will prepare a "haunted house" designed to scare those who dare to check it out. But of course this is all in fun, and although ghosts have been reported to scare people, they generally aren't known for harming folks. When is the last time you heard of a "terrorist ghost?"

So what have you witnessed that you couldn't explain? Are there any objects moving around your house without a visible "mover?" Do you hear strange unexplainable noises at night? It is true that most of us can't complete a lifetime without bumping into a number of things we cannot explain. One such common experience is the vast difference between a day when everything goes wrong and a day where we sail through life with a breeze. How do we account for the difference? And how is it that as kids we didn't fall out of that tree and break our neck? Or how did we ever survive that terrible car wreck, or avoid one with such a near miss?

Life just isn't designed so that we can put everything in a test tube, run an experiment, and pop out every answer we might like. But it IS designed to help honest people ask questions, ask for and obtain wisdom, and find answers to ultimate and essential questions about life.

For example, when I saw how differently a couple of Christians helped people on a daily basis as a freshman at Rice Institute in Houston, it caught my attention and raised questions. As I pursued the question of why were they different, it led me to a gathering of Christians from several universities at Bastrop State Park. There I found a speaker, who like me, had wondered why Jesus did not make more of a difference to folks in his church. But he soon found that Jesus did not make a difference in his life either, because he had not invited Him into his life to give Him a chance. That's when the lights went on for me and I too invited Him into my life as my own savior. I had no idea what would happen, but 47 years later my relationship with Him by faith grows sweeter each year. Jesus promises that WE will come and abide with anyone that invites us into their life. So I got more than I bargained for since God the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost came into my life the day I invited Jesus in.

Like the wind, Jesus told the Jewish member of the ruling council named Nicodemus, you can see the results of it, but you don't really perceive much about where it comes from or where it goes. He was describing the birth process of being born spiritually into God's family of all people who trust Him and invite Him in to become their own Lord and savior. The One behind the scenes of this spiritual birth process is God the Holy Ghost who cracks through our facades, pride, defense mechanisms, denial, selfishness, etc. and shows us a glimpse of the beauty, majesty, and flawless character of God, in the person of His Son Jesus.

So if you had asked me at Will Rogers High School if I believed in ghosts I would have said no. But that was before I experienced the on-going influence of the Holy Ghost that shows me each day more and more of the glorious nature of Jesus, who claims and demonstrates that He is THE way, THE truth, and THE Life (that is, He is unique as the God-man, and no one else is like Him)! If you listen to the Holy Ghost this Halloween, you are in for a treat!

KISS; Keep It Simple, Stupid

As we all know, Albert Einstein thought "out of the box." Do you suppose that is why his grade school teachers wrote him off as quite unlikely to be successful? Even with such disapproval he was willing to pursue his own thoughts. A by-product of that independence is that others would spend years trying to comprehend new ideas that occupied his mind. In spite of the complexity of his thoughts, Einstein said, "You don't really understand something unless you can communicate it in a simple way." But it took George Gamov to popularize physics with his book "Mr. Tomkins in Wonderland (1936)" about a man who went to a physics lecture and then returned home to "dream" about each subject, like quantum physics, curved space, and relativistic time travel. If you give this short book a try you will find a great job of simplifying complex subjects. Note that making a subject simple to understand is very different from being simplistic.

It is reported that when Albert Einstein stayed at the Waldorf Astoria in NY City he got lost as he walked around the block, deep in thought. He was so absorbed in his "out of this world thinking" that he forgot how to get back to the hotel. He finally called a cab to get back to the Astoria. And finally Samuel Clements (Mark Twain) is reported to have explained to a friend, "I'd have written you a shorter letter, but I didn't have the time." Keeping it simple is a great goal that takes conscious effort and attention.

But how about you? Do you take pride in spouting forth complex obscure insights that no one else seems to understand? In other words, do you measure your intelligence quotient by the number of people that CANNOT understand what you are saying? Or do you continually search for new ways to improve you understandability? And one of the very toughest questions is "do you seek first to understand before seeking to be understood? In other words, a whole lot of communications success involves the degree to which we really care about and tune into the needs of others.

That gives us a good point of insight into why Jesus was such an astounding communicator. He cares more deeply than anyone else about our real needs and difficulties. He always started with people right where they were, and when they were ready, he helped them move to where they needed to be. As Max Lucado says, God loves you just they way you are, BUT He refuses to leave you that way. He wants you to be just like Jesus. Not only does Jesus see right through us, needs, problems, pain, and all, but also He brings us just the right message at the right time to move us forward out of our quagmire.

His words are so simple a child can understand, respond, and follow Him. But at the same time His words shoot straight over the head of a proud, arrogant astrophysicist that is unwilling to follow Him. The message of reconciliation with God through the payment Jesus made on the cross for our sin requires only our acceptance and the resultant new life realignment to follow Him. But since such insight and response happens in the spiritual domain, teachers of the law, religious leaders, scientists, and well educated professors have no more advantage than the simplest humble child that responds to the love and forgiveness Jesus offers. His message is simple, but never simplistic. Jesus Himself is the message (the Word that was in the beginning with the Father and the Spirit). Over time, IF (and only if) you respond, He will turn your perspective, priorities, and practices upside down and inside out. He guarantees it!

Word Power

A lot of things have great power and potential, for either good or bad results. We've discussed before that people are that way. But today we are looking at the power of the spoken word. I'm sure most of us know what it means to wish we could "eat our words," or at least take them back. Once out however, their effect is neither revocable nor negotiable. Hurtful words can last so very much longer than we would like them to. Sticks and stones not only break bones and make even the marrow hurt, but so do our words at times. But do you realize that a simple word of comfort, caring, empathy, understanding, or even sympathetic silence can be just as powerful as hurtful words. Such words can build trust, relieve suffering and loneliness, and build new levels of intimacy and openness not otherwise possible. Our words can soothe, validate, make and deepen friendships, and break down walls of isolation, situational depression, and self-pity. But that kind of helpful speaking takes practice and tongue control. Who do you know that would not wish to improve their ability to control their tongue better, e.g. to hurt others less, and to edify them more?

The Bible says the tongue is every bit as powerful as a rudder on a large ship that turns it powerfully to the left or the right. Ironically no person can truly control their tongue all the time, nevertheless we are known by what comes out of our mouth. If this sounds harsh to you, let me ask if you always think over alternatives before you put your tongue in gear? Or when opposed, attacked, angered, or threatened, do you take a "Thomas Jefferson count" before responding so you have your tongue under control first? Most of us are honest enough to realize the truth of the other Bible claim that one little spark from our tongue can easily create a devastating forest fire that burns a long time.

But what a contrast when God speaks. His Word is truth that transforms our lives when we are receptive. When God speaks (and especially when we listen) things change (for the better). He spoke every original thing in our universe into existence. And we know that it's original state was much better than it is today, since man has chosen to succumb to inner and outer polution.

Who do you enjoy listening to and why? I am sure it is someone that speaks straight with you, but that also builds you up to reach your full potential. God's Word is alive, powerful, and very active as it:

Are you in need of a cure for spiritual anorexia? Then you need healthy meals of abiding in God's Word. How is that done?

1. Accept its authority and use it as the compass for your life, realizing that our false, arbitrary, and unreliable authorities of culture, tradition, reason, and emotion are flawed by man turning his back on God in subtle disbelief and mistrust.
2. Incorporate its truth into our working memory where we can reflect on it (like a cow chewing her cud) through study and understanding how it applies to the daily circumstances of our life.
3. Apply its principles by depending on God's promises rather than our own feelings and "wisdom."

Let's join David in his prayer, "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight Oh Lord, my strength and my redeemer!"

Anybody got an aspirin?

Here's a scene we WON'T be seeing on Emergency Room TV. But could it actually be a more common occurrence than we would like to think. The paramedics rush into the hospital emergency entrance with a patient complaining of a headache. The patient fills out the history form, again listing "bad headache" as his major complaint. The on-duty Doctor dispenses aspirin and sends him on his way.

What's wrong with this picture? The patient's version of the problem subverted an analysis and diagnosis, leading to a commensurate and ineffective treatment. Why do I say that? Because the facts are that the real problem was an undiagnosed internal brain hemorrhage, which left untreated will result in the patient's death with no chance of recovery!

But does such a neglect of finding and fixing the real problem actually occur? You bet it does. Much too often. For example, have the forms you have filled out helped or hindered the discovery of the real problem, once you look back on your hospital visits? Has the information gathering truly solicited the best information from objective witnesses and family members, or has it limited information to what the disabled patient was able or willing to divulge. By hindsight, have you ever been a patient and experienced that other close friends were able to see a bigger and more accurate picture than you perceived as you suffered from some debilitating condition? Stated another way, when we are feeling our worst and wondering if things will ever get better, we are probably NOT the best one to provide objective, accurate, unbiased information that will truly help the Doctor discover the root cause of our problems. We may very well forget, overlook, or deny major symptoms that are the very key to getting effective help.

Similarly, although most people have an innate sense that they don't measure up to the standards of a truly holy God, they still are very reluctant to admit that their problems warrant any significant analysis, diagnosis, or treatment. But Jesus says our common human problem is so very severe that we are not merely in danger of imminently dying, but indeed we are ALREADY spiritually dead. That is because, for example, our spiritual sensitivity is so dull that we tend to excuse ungodly behavior in ourselves and others, rather than learn how to avoid its subliminal influence on distorting our priorities, blinding our spiritual eyesight, and undermining our choices.

Would you consult a man thrashing around and slowly sinking in quick sand, or the person who is valiantly trying to help him without getting mired in quick sand himself, to determine how he got into trouble and what is the best way to help him get out.

Fortunately Jesus didn't consult mankind but when our condition was at its greatest need He jumped in with both feet to help us once he determined an accurate diagnosis. Rather than take a poll or a vote or majority rule, He pronounced us patients as already dead. Only new life would help at all. This requires a new or spiritual birth if there is to be any real life at all. "Spiritual aspirin" won't help and consulting with the patient will only hinder any real help.

Are you among the few that can accept and deal with such a severe diagnosis? Are you willing to accept the only remedy that has been proven effective? Do you "feel more comfortable" with a "self diagnosis" or are you willing to totally trust the authority and power of your designer-redeemer? The song says that "Jesus knows our every weakness" but actually it's worse than that. He knows the patient has already died spiritually and can only live again by experiencing the same kind of resurrection power that He did when He came out of that sealed tomb on the first day of the week. Are you ready and willing to choose, trust, and experience new life in Christ or are you so sick you think you'll just stick with your favorite "home remedy." If you can't reach out for the costly cure Jesus offers, there is somebody already on the scene that has some "snake oil" to sell you. The trouble is you really can't afford the real price that he is hiding from you until it is too late. Please choose the one and only cure, not the placebo that the majority have either chosen or taken by default.

Plan Ahead

Whose Plan?

This is the age of pocket planner, diaries, organizers, and PDAs, etc. Many folks jot down "to do" lists and mark events on their calendars. And especially the moms in our families help establish family traditions and set up next year's Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations well in advance. But ironically most of us fail to plan ahead in a manner that is deliberately coherent with things that are most important to us. Today's code name for those importances is "values." It is true that we have unique styles, and that many folks innately integrate their values into their activities essentially without thinking.

It is also true that most businesses today have vision, mission, and value statements. Ideally these are jointly developed and believed in by the workers at all levels of the enterprise. They are intended to be the driving force behind the policies, procedures, and operations of the company. But how many of us have bothered to spend the time and discipline to discover what is most important to us, and to record it in our own personal vision, mission, and value statements? And further, how many of us use these statements to guide our weekly and daily planning, so that our tasks and priorities benefit from a deliberate integration with what we really intend to be about? And lastly, how many of us review our vision, mission, and value statements and update them in keeping with changes in our motivations, opportunities, intentions, and commitments? I am NOT trying to get folks to be as totally structured as this likely sounds. But I am trying to get us to all be very clear about how we want our life to count, and to plan and review our activities to better align the way we spend our time with what we want to be about. This of course has much more to do with our attitudes and motivations, rather than merely our "to do" list. Otherwise we run the extreme danger of becoming task-driven as a slave to our "to do" list, rather than someone who enjoys what they are doing and the associated opportunities for interaction with folks as we work.

What do we learn from Jesus in this area of planning? Do we see Him having classes with His disciples on time management? What kind of pocket planner, diaries, organizers, and PDAs did He use and endorse? The answer should tell us something. His natural style is the desired end result of whatever tools we may use to get us there. The tools should NEVER get in the way or hinder our relationships. That is one reason I warned against the extreme danger of becoming task-driven to the extent that we lose our focus on the opportunities all around us every day to relate to people somewhat in the way Jesus has related to us.

What central focus does God provide for us to integrate our life and our tasks? Himself! Jesus, the bread of life, the living water, the way, the truth, and the life. The law (producing slaves like task-driven cholerics) came by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus as He put God the Father on display for us. It's good to be a thorough task performer, but it's so much better for you and those around you to enjoy what you are doing. If you want your life to make sense with direction, motivation, and satisfaction, its time to invite Jesus to provide that as your Lord and savior at the center of your life. Jesus said the work (task) of God is to believe on Him. He also said that to know Him by faith is to experience eternal life. To know Him is to know the Father. And for those who already know Him, He gives us ambassadors the privilege of seizing opportunities (divine appointments) to make disciples of Him.

Who Me? Gullible?

Sometimes my wife shudders for me to answer the telephone, or even the front door. Why? She figures I am one of the most gullible folks in this world. She may have something there because I can listen to one politician and think he sounds really good. But then when the next one speaks he often sounds even better. I'm sure that another factor in our outlooks is that I see the glass half full and my wife sees it half empty. She can spot what's wrong a long way off, without much effort.

How about you? Surely you are not as gullible as I am, are you? Have you ever been mislead by a slick glossy brochure, but later found out the product wasn't nearly as slick as it was advertised to be? Has anyone ever taken advantage of you? If you have never passed on an email hoax you might not use email, or you just may be unaware of all the hoaxes being forwarded around cyberspace. For example, I recently forwarded to a few select people, pictures of the space shuttle breaking up and burning, taken from an "Israeli satellite," only to be told about 7 reasons this was a hoax. Actually it was some shots from a movie. I had several hunches about why these spectacular images were "too realistic to be true" but had not followed up on these inconsistencies to debunk this for myself. Nor had I checked the web sites that chronicle such hoaxes. I find that being gullible and making apologies go hand in hand.

But not all hoaxes have the same price tag, do they? Just stop and think for a moment about your most expensive gullibility episode. Wouldn't you rather rewind that scene and make some different choices? Well, today I have some good news for you about mankind's common gullibility that you can avoid by making the right decision today. A very important corollary is that you will avoid "kicking yourself" for not making the right decision.

The decision is as straightforward as the offer is. Incredible as it sounds, the God of the universe strongly desires to have a relationship with you. But our forefathers blew their love relationship with God by believing a hoax that undermined God's provisions for them, caused them to believe a lie, and led to breaking their trust in God. To help us understand this better, let me ask, just how good is your relationship with your closest friend when they believe lies that someone else tells them about you, and as a result they no longer trust you? This same kind of broken relationship between man and God grew worse as each successive generation added insult to injury by our own variations on the theme, for example, ignoring, denying, and disbelieving God.

The breach was so bad that God could only restore the broken relationship with mankind through a perfect sacrifice for man's sins. That sacrifice would also need to be so personal that it would motivate and empower man to return to God and to maintain a new relationship of trust in Him. The only way found for the required blood sacrifice to cover all breaches of trust and to motivate mankind, was for God's own Son Jesus to be born as a human and sacrifice His perfect life for us all. God the Father affirmed His acceptance of this payment through the resurrection of Jesus from the dead!

So how can you checkout the "hoax website" for this tremendous offer of all sins forgiven, past, present, and future? One way is to check for yourself the many Old Testament prophesies about Jesus the Messiah, and then trace their fulfillment counterparts in the New Testament scriptures and in the secular writer Flavius Josephus. Another way is to read the Gospel of John for yourself to see how different Jesus the Lamb of God is from anyone else in His caring and healing of those who were willing to trust Him. As people worldwide have responded to Jesus through the centuries, note that such trust was accompanied by bold action that affirmed their belief and often was brave enough to stand up against the majority.

The decision that God requires is for you to trust His message that you must be born spiritually by trusting the sin payment Jesus made for you. He will come into your life as your Lord and savior ONLY upon your invitation. But He will come in and fellowship with you when you do invite Him in. If you neglect or refuse to make this most important decision you will have ALL eternity to see what you missed, expressing shame and self-contempt, in the horrible place prepared for your deceiver, not for you!

Anosognosia

We've talked before about similar subjects like the two blindspot areas everyone has and the three states of knowing, starting with "not knowing that I don't know." Today we're considering a very tough related dilemma. Suppose you were planning to jump into your car and hurry to meet someone important at your destination. But you find that your key won't even fit in your car, so you will miss your appointment.

The analogy we want to consider today is like someone telling you the key to your life doesn't fit. How might it feel to be told you have a major mental illness and need to take medicine, probably the rest of your life, like a person with diabetes takes insulin. Otherwise you are told you won't be able to hold onto a job or function well. How would you react if someone told you that? Most likely either you would tell them to leave or else you would get out of there fast. Alternatives like confrontation or "trying to talk someone into sharing your view" are rarely helpful. It's more like throwing gas on the fire. How would you like others telling you what you can and can not do, when you believe your only true limitation is the people telling you what to do, and when you see yourself as just as capable as you were before your illness?

What we've just described happens to the majority of persons who experience mental illness because the illness affects the portion of the brain that is involved with our self-perception for recognizing what we are like. This sounds like a classical dilemma or impasse, doesn't it? That is because it is. It is a common frustration for millions of professionals, family members, and persons who experience mental illness, similar to Anosognosia, and it is the leading cause of lack of their medicine compliance. Anosognosia is the condition of "not knowing you don't know" you have limitations that everyone but you can see.

Since telling a person who experiences mental illness they are out of touch with reality does not work, what does work? The simple answer is to treat such a person with a mental illness or disability just as you would like to be treated. This includes a generous application of respect, love, and related trust builders.

Based on solid research, Xavier Amador, the author of "I am NOT sick; I don't need help!" says we should "LEAP" to the tasks at hand. LEAP stands for: 1-Listen; 2-Empathize; 3-Agree; 4-Partner

1-When we truly listen we focus on what persons with mental illness want out of their life vs. our agenda.

2-As we truly listen we empathize with them as we see how it feels to them to have their illness, believe there is nothing wrong with them, and have people on their case about taking their medicine or threatening hospitalization. Reflecting back on our understanding of how they feel, helps build trust again.

3-Common areas of agreement can be found once we truly understand what they want out of life. For example it may be possible to agree for the person with the illness to keep a journal of how well they accomplish their goals (a) when they are compliant with their medicine, versus (b) when they are not compliant with their medicine. This can shine light into their blind spot.

4-When mutual understanding, trust, and respect are improved, the normal antagonism due to mental illness can be reduced greatly. This forms the basis for a partnership dedicated to all parties being able to get along better, help each other better, and enjoy each other more.

This LEAP approach to bridging the communication gap can pay big dividends in any two-way communication, e.g. husband-wife; employee-employer; and man-God. LEAP adds helpful details to the Highly Effective Habit of "seeking first to understand, before seeking to be understood." This principle itself is so powerful it can transform the attitude of the "understandee," and disarm the defenses (or offenses) of the one being understood.

God took steps like these with us when He understood we were stubbornly and independently NOT listening to Him. Then He sent Jesus, His only Son and very best gift, to weep for us and show how deeply our rebellion grieved Him. Although man tends to invent complicated religions of "works," God established a simple, solid, common ground for us to be reconciled to Him. We must stop calling Him a liar concerning the testimony He gave us about His Son, agree that without Jesus' payment of His blood on the cross, our sin separates us forever from Him, and ask Jesus to be our own savior. This mutual agreement begins a wonderful, growing partnership of "Christ in us, the hope of glory" as we move from disbelief to belief, and we experience things that previously "we did not know that we did not know!"

Oppositional

Have you ever supervised someone that was rather oppositional on a regular basis? You know, someone that typically tries to punch holes in your favorite new ideas, is quick to point out the liabilities, what can go wrong, and why NOT to move ahead with your great idea. As a System Engineer our projects generally required us to prepare a Risk Analysis that included assessing our most likely points of project problems or failure, rate them in order of potential negative impact such as project delay or cost, and then prepare a Risk Mitigation Plan for the most severe risks. Identifying risks is a great place to utilize your oppositional employees. Then you might even assign them to planning Risk Mitigation to help them shift gears to recognize solutions as well as problems.

So both negative and positive skill can be useful and valuable. But how does the oppositional person work in their own family. Once again they can spot "possible" trouble and give warnings, but they are generally NOT good leaders since the family would have so much trouble getting anything done, seizing opportunities, and moving ahead if the oppositional person were in charge or allowed to dominate family decisions.

You should NOT assume that I am speaking in favor of a rose-colored Pollyanna outlook of pretending that no issues or potential problems exist. Instead I am in favor of discussion and brainstorming that help identify possible issues and working up front to minimize or mitigate them. But sometimes an oppositional person also becomes defiant. Perhaps they want to be in control, or just show their way is best. Eventually this can look like someone arguing and opposing a new plan or idea to the degree that them seem to actually even oppose themselves and their own starting position.

Such consistent opposition if carried on unrelentingly to an extreme can undermine a marriage, a workplace, or most any relationship. If you find that folks around you are ecstatic when it is time for you to go on vacation, find out how they really feel about you. Do they make a lot of progress while you are gone for instance?

The ultimate extreme of opposition and defiance is against God (and even your own position or philosophy). That's why Christians are urged to "speak the truth in love," and to serve others gently and patiently, without strife, meekly helping them see that their oppositional and defiant habit has put them in a corner where they even oppose themselves (i.e. their own original position). Paul was well qualified to teach about that since He had unknowingly opposed God and His ways until he "saw the light." Instead of continuing to fight against Christians, he made an about face (from his way to God's way) and became one of the best ambassadors for Christ, taking the good news of forgiveness through Christ's sin payment all over his part of the world. That's what you call a negative-to-positive and an inside-out transformation. God will do that for us too if we let Him.

Choice or Chance?

When the kids chose up sides on your school playground to play a game, I'll be they weren't bashful or especially courteous either. Each wanted the best team so that they could WIN! In fact most people I know want to be a winner in most things they do. However that brings up a very strange thing. Why are so many folks aggressive about excelling in so many things, and yet passive in other things?

An example of choosing to win is putting our best foot forward at work and planning and working to please our boss. Other examples include dressing nicely for a special event and taking time and effort to help someone in need. But the other side of the coin includes use of our time. Have you ever sat glassy-eyed staring at the TV until the wee hours of the morning? Or do you passively take the word of an "authority like the TV weather man or Dr. Phil without checking things out and thinking for yourself? In politics we expect some theatrics and special interests to crop up, but could that be true also of others to whom we have abdicated out thinking?

I find that it is very easy for me to be swayed by "the most current speaker." I can also get spurred on to action by a passionate speaker or article. That is why I try NOT to become embroiled in a controversial, polarizing issue, unless it is to get involved to take action to provide a positive alternative so people will have a real choice as a result. For example the topics of mental illness and associated under-funded services are often misunderstood and criticized. But by offering help, hope, and advocacy for improvement through support and education, persons with mental illness can gradually receive better services, stigma from the public can be overcome, and legislators can be motivated to fund improved treatment and services.

But more often the path of least resistance is taken because we all know it's easier to criticize than to work hard for improvement. But that is why God tells us to pray for our leaders. It's also why He lived 33 years with misunderstanding, criticism, and opposition so we would have a real choice of whether to accept Him and His payment for our sins on the cross or not. He did not stay comfortably in heaven and proclaim truths to us. He left that glorious setting with the Father and the Spirit to show us what living a life of open communication and pleasing God the Father is truly like. Are you a student of how very different Jesus treated people is compared to how we act?

Jesus gave His all, so we could freely choose to believe Him or to reject Him. But an amazing fact is that most either abdicate to some other "authority" to tell them who Jesus is and what He is like, or they go into "glazed eye" default mode and neglect to even consider what He did for them. He wants us to be hot or cold, to choose yes or no, but NEVER to coast through life lukewarm without making a decision about Him and His sacrifice for us. Suppose you gave your all for someone and all they did was ignore you. How would you feel?

This Easter season is a great time to look closely at the book He had written to give you a record of some of what He is like and what He did for us. Please don't let someone who doesn't know Jesus personally try to be your authority on Him. You wouldn't accept such an "authority" in your line of work would you? Once you choose Him and begin an eternity of appreciating what He is like, He will then motivate you to use some of your energy to get involved, take action, and provide a positive alternative so others will have a real choice as a result.

Have you deposited that check yet?

Have you ever had the experience of cleaning up some of your "junk" and as you filed and sorted and tossed, you came upon some "buried treasure?" You likely have heard that "one man's trash is another man's treasure." My problem is that a lot of my trash masquerades as a treasure and thus piles up too high and deep to permit easy access to the truly important stuff.

But on one of your treasure hunts have you found a check not yet cashed? Part of my discovery of my Mom's decline into Alzheimer's occurred as I packed her up years ago to bring her from Mesa, AZ to Texas after she experienced some TIAs (small strokes). I found several of her checks that she had never deposited. Also I recently found an un-cashed check made out to me and one made out to my second son. Such examples are the exception to the rule that most folks take their checks to the bank promptly. And in general the bigger the check the shorter is the "mean time to deposit." Similarly we have imagined before that we would not procrastinate if the "Millionaire" or Ed McMahon came knocking at our door.

But just how promptly do you deposit your biggest check to your account? Whether or not you understand it yet, the very most valuable payment ever made out to you was the payment Jesus made on the cross for all your sins. But many, if not most, have failed to deposit that payment to their account. They either ignored that priceless payment, misplaced it by believing they might consider it later, or have actually torn it up and thereby shown they believe it to be worthless. Jesus wrote it with His own blood and made it payable to YOU! But only YOU can deposit it by accepting His payment and depositing it by faith into your account in heaven.

Today we went to Eddie Dean's Ranch in downtown Dallas to a Bar-B-Que to help in a Celebration Recovery by participating in the hope that exists now for persons with serious mental illness. Improved medicines allow many of them already to overcome most of their primary symptoms. But due to stigma and denial, many were not there because they refuse to apply the medicine and treatment available to them today.

Our human nature can find many reasons (including procrastination, unbelief, fear of the unknown, and self-centeredness) to fail to deposit God's most valuable payment to our account. But surely you are not like that. Surely you will check out for yourself the validity and value of the payment Jesus made for you. I believe that once you check Him out you will join even the skeptics who tried to discredit and disprove Him, but wound up finding out just how wonderful, majestic, creative, and gracious He really is. Then where your treasure is, there will be your heart also, forever safe and secure in the arms of your Savior, able to enjoy a full account, overflowing with His righteousness deposited for you. Do you have a check to cash?

Where did you put God?

We have discussed before our human tendency toward attitudes like "I can handle this job all by myself!" For example, why is it we tend to stiff-arm attempts from others to help us? PRIDE, which promotes such a macho, independent, rebellious spirit, is certainly one factor.

Our bumper stickers sometimes give away our attitudes, like the one that proudly reads, "God is my Co-pilot." To help us put this into perspective, let me ask just how well do your controls work when someone else is driving and you are in the front passenger seat of a car? It is uncomfortable for any of us to turn the controls over to another, isn't it? But if we have a co-pilot, WE are mainly in control, and if our co-pilot doesn't fly/drive in a way that suits us, we can always "grab the controls back."

How do you think the creator of the universe, and the redeemer of all mankind, feels to be demoted and relegated to being our co-pilot? For example, how would you feel if you bid on a job and won it, planned and implemented it, and then someone you hired to help perform the job said they were taking over that job and forming a committee to re-do its mission , goals, tasks, and schedule, and by the way, you can sit in on the meeting if you might want to contribute a couple of ideas?

Finally, let's consider the difference in attitude between "God is my Co-pilot" and "The Lord is my Shepherd." Who is in charge of whom in the pilot & co-pilot relationship and in the Lord and Shepherd & Sheep relationship? Are you acting like a pilot or a sheep today? Sheep may be dirty, dumb, vulnerable, and in need of a shepherd, but as long as they follow their shepherd and get found by Him when they are lost, they remain protected, cherished, and their needs are met. On the other hand a proud pilot who relegates his "Lord" to a subserviant "co-pilot" position has actually reversed roles between God and man. To understand this role reversal better, if we actually pursue the co-pilot analogy we would have to re-write the 23^rd Psalm like, "The Lord is my co-pilot, subject to my wishes and authorizing my desires. He goes along on my flights, but he can bail out once I get everything under control...

I prefer to be baaaack in the fold with the original 23^rd Psalm. Notice the action verbs the shepherd takes in our behalf.

Psalm 23
¹ The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
² He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
³ He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
⁵ Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

So, who is in control in your life, and how is it working? If God is your co-pilot, change seats. Today.

A Merry Heart

Who do you like to be around, and why? Is it someone who is generally negative or someone who is generally upbeat and positive? Likely its someone who appreciates you, builds you up, let's you be yourself, but also challenges and encourages you to be your best and maybe also has proven themselves to you enough that you consider their ideas welcome rather than a threat.

Who do you NOT like to be around, and why? Likely its someone who doesn't seem to appreciate you, places demands or expectations on you, tries to make you into someone different from yourself, or maybe just focuses on themselves and their problems. How do you feel about someone who is generally sad, pessimistic, anxious, feeling oppressed or envious? When your own reserves are low and your battery needs re-charging it can be overwhelming to listen to repeated complaints from a negative person.

Before you answer these questions fully, let's consider some realistic differences in temperament and outlook. In simple terms there are two temperaments that are outgoing and two that are more inwardly focused. Spiritually speaking there are those who do a lot and worry a lot, and there are those willing and attentive to learn spiritual applications from most circumstances, no matter how difficult. A simple example is the different ways that Mary and Martha responded when Jesus delayed visiting them until after their brother Lazarus died. If only He had come earlier their brother would not have died. They had definite expectations, almost demands, of Jesus, which were very different from His purposes. They had in mind postponing death. He was interested in life after death.

Different temperaments, styles, expectations, and demands are to be humanly expected, just like sisters Mary and Martha experienced. But if we are to rise above our circumstances and allow God to make us victors IN our circumstances, we must allow Him to be in control and exchange our ways for His ways. If anyone was wrongfully and shamefully treated, it was Jesus. But we never see Him being negative or inviting others to a pity party. With those who needed correction or a 180-degree turn He spoke and acted very directly. But He kept His focus on helping us experience Him as "THE resurrection and THE life as we follow Him. Once we see and experience Him this way we become open to letting Him change us into a person others will enjoy being around through prescriptions like the following.

Proverbs 15
¹³ A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.

Proverbs 12
²⁵ An anxious heart weighs a man down,
but a kind word cheers him up.

Remember that a heart lift precedes a face-lift. And face-lifts are catching.

Getting it right

"If you want a job done right, do it yourself!" "Nothing succeeds like success!" "Nobody is going to tell me what to do or how to do it, I like to do things my way." We can all identify with these feelings and have likely taken emotional ownership of them at one time or another. But could it be that such reasonable and arguable points have some flaws in their logic, and that exactly the opposite is more often better?

For example, it is true that if your wife wants a project done a certain way, she is not likely to be happy until it is done that way. But does that mean that she has to do it herself to get it done the way she wants? Certainly a professional, or even her husband, can often do a better job than she can, if only they will listen, pay attention, and have a correctable attitude until they get it right. Or just imagine if your boss had to perform all the details of all the assignments that he or she gives you. We all know that the quality of most tasks like that would suffer, and the schedule would fall way behind. One of the secrets of successful delegation is clearly communicating requirements and descriptions of the desired outcome even before the project is started. Trying to do everything yourself is clearly not the right answer.

And then there is the temptation that catches most of us repeatedly, to focus so intently on getting a specific task done, that we miss opportunities to relate to others around us in a mutually enjoyable manner. In the extreme, we may do a good job on the task, but upset those we could or should have been working with. The simple answer? Put people first, since people and relationships are more important than getting things done "efficiently."

I'm sure most of us have also exercised our independent spirit, demanded our rights, and insisted on doing things "my way" at the expense of stepping on the toes of others. The simple truth is, none of lives in a vacuum. Both what we do and how we do it affects not only ourselves, but those who surround us, and those we may run over in our haste to make sure we are in control of our own destiny.

So how did Jesus walk through such minefields and maintain a balance of showing diligence to complete His assignments, while always showing compassion, care, and sensitivity to all those he encountered? His three-year ministry was patiently spent teaching, training, and mentoring His disciples so that they could successfully carry out their assignments after He was gone. It would have been much easier for Him to do their jobs for them, but that was not worth the high cost of leaving them impotent and incapable to follow in His footsteps.

Jesus put people first so perfectly that merely encountering someone and relating to them became His highest priority of the moment. I can't recall any time someone felt they were imposing on Him, or that He was "watching the clock" and biding His time until He could get back to "more important business." To Him, success is measured in satisfied customers, meaning that He always sought to give everyone the very best opportunity to experience God more fully.

And finally He remained perfectly true to His Father who sent Him our way. The strongest and best man who ever walked this earth was so humble as to perfectly submit His will to the will of His Father, even though He longed to find some other way to avoid the physical and spiritual suffering on the cross for us.

Who do you know that can come close to showing us how to live, how to die, and how to live again, like Jesus? Emanuel, God with us, came in audio, visual, touching, and textual forms, to demonstrate to us how very different (essentially opposite) God's ways are from man's ways. What an opportunity we have to become empowered to do things God's way once we invite Jesus into our life as our Lord and savior. Have you taken that essential step yet and begun to experience "new and different life in Christ?"

Improving your relationships

How doe you feel when someone "gets on your case?" Does it motivate you to comply with their wishes? For example picture someone who is bugging you about completing a task THEY are interested in. Does that kind of treatment move you closer or farther from the finish line? My guess is that at times we actually expend more energy in fighting and avoiding such pressures than we would in merely completing the task. It is interesting to consider what motivates us and what triggers our "foot dragging" opposition. When we can see the alignment of tasks with our own interests we do a lot better at efficiently completing those tasks. But if we sense someone is trying to coerce us, manipulate us, or control us, it just might take a team of mules to get us moving toward the finish line.

Generally people are much more likely to move in the direction of their own goals and priorities. On the other hand they are likely to do an about face on doing tasks just because someone else wants them to. If you add the element of judgment you are likely to bring everything to a halt. For example someone might cooperate with you just to "do you a favor," but if they feel you are judging them as not worthy of your approval, their cooperation with you is very likely to cease. We could conclude from these thoughts that "the quality of your relationship" with someone can have a great effect on how harmoniously they will work and cooperate with you. A good relationship tends to promote good cooperation. But a poor relationship has little chance of producing teamwork and collaboration toward common goals.

Next when we consider how people work together we find that eventually one person will do something that offends the other. This of course can occur intentionally or unintentionally. At that point the offended person will likely make a judgment about whether that act was intentional or unintentional. If we judge them guilty of intentionally offending us, most often both the relationship and our cooperation will suffer. It is a very rare person who can separate the person and the relationship from the offensive act. If you truly value your relationship, it can help you get back to cooperation and moving in the same direction again.

When we look at God's ways of restoring relationships we can learn a lot. A hard thing for us to grasp is that He separates our offending action from His view of us and His desire for our relationship to improve rather than falter based on our offending choices and actions. He actually gets angry at our offenses while at the same time loving us so much that He keep the relationship door open to see if we can turn around and straighten out our choices and actions. The best picture of this is the loving heart of the father as he went out and looked down the road all the time to see if and when his prodigal son might come to his senses and realize that nothing could compare to the way his Dad loved and treated him. Indeed, when the prodigal son DID come to his senses after sewing his wild oats and trying everything "his own way," he finally couldn't wait to get home to His family. And sure enough His Dad ran to meet him halfway with open arms.

Are you experiencing double jeopardy because you have offended God by your thoughts, words, or deeds? What double jeopardy you ask? Well most of us can feel the wrath of God against our harmful choices and sins, but please don't let that keep you from also feeling His strong desire for you to repent and turn around from your own ways that separate you from His love and forgiveness. If you feel and act only upon His wrath at your sin and neglect or ignore His great and consistent love for YOU that would be a terrible mistake. For example it could cause you to wrongly judge God rather than submitting and agreeing with His judgment of your sins that you have let separate you from Him.

Once we repent and turn back home to God, our restored relationship with Him is so powerful it can positively affect all our other relationships too. A true relationship with God in which we experience His love and forgiveness will NOT allow us to get upset and refuse to forgive when our friend violates one of "our rights." Peace with God is a pre-requisite for experiencing peace with our brothers and sisters.

Audio Visual

Today we focus on two of our senses, hearing and seeing. I'm sure even us married guys that are hard of hearing have heard the words from our wife, "Why don't you listen to me?" A sharper variation of that is "Why do you listen to so-and-so, but when I said the same thing some time back, you paid NO attention to me?" You may have a high IQ score, but if you fail hearing tests such as this, even your IQ can't help you.

They say several things can cause your need for hearing aids, including exposure to loud noises like chain saws or similar loud equipment. Our wives might say that prolonged exposure to their voice could cause both hearing and memory loss. God says that prolonged exposure to sin causes us to become deaf to His word. J.C. Ryle put it this way, "Nothing so hardens the heart of man as a barren familiarity with sacred things."

James in his succinct writings tells us to be "quick to listen," slow to speak, and slow to become angry." We might well add, and quick to obey. As the THINKABLE on Excuses noted, excuses pave the way to disobedience that results in experiencing God's wrath. But even then God carefully distinguishes between His hatred and wrath against man's wickedness (that suppresses truth), and the man himself, whom He loves. He expresses this great contrast in Isaiah 54:8, "In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you," says the Lord your Redeemer. Here He also says His love for the sinner is unshakable even though all but eternal things (people and God's word) shall one day be shaken and destroyed.

We all know that video helps us learn and remember even more than audio Graphic scenes from the movie "The Passion of the Christ" may stick in our memory longer than merely listening to a reading of related Bible passages. But even physical sight is not adequate for us to comprehend what Jesus suffered to pay for our sins. The Bible says, "without vision the people perish." But one of the most insightful members of my Sunday School class at 7 Oaks Nursing Home is a 93 year old man that hid God's word in his heart for over 50 years. Actually physical sight is just the opposite of the faith that God values and requires (without faith it is impossible to please Him). For example when Jesus took my place including payment and punishment for my sins He experienced no aid from God the Father so I would never have to experience that myself.

His spirit illumines spiritual comprehension of some of the price he paid for me, even though He knew I would spend many years oblivious and unappreciative of the high cost of that payment and the privileges it purchased for me. The new spiritual birth into God's kingdom by faith in Jesus and His finished redemptive work on Calvery comes only by spiritual insight and spiritual response. When we tune into God's spiritual audio-visual it does for us what a movie or video audio-visual could never do. It displays some of the high price He paid for me. The question for you and me is "would I accept the kind of service I give Him, for the price He paid for me?" May God refine and redeem my service response to Him as I reflect on the price He paid for me!

How are your shock absorbers working?

As we live through each day of our lives, each of us experience "bumps in our road" that tend to throw us off course. Our own county rock road is getting pretty "washboardy" again and we tend to learn where the major bumps, holes, and "Belgian Block" road test obstacles are, and we try hard to avoid them. But we all have those occasional surprises when a large hole sneaks up on us while we are distracted and "the bottom falls out" and knocks us off course. The time it takes us to recover and get back under control can mean the difference between an accident with resultant damage, or the ability to keep on traveling down the road.

Your road likely doesn't have as many pot holes and vibrating ridge bumps as ours, but on the road of life we all experience surprises, criticisms, insensitive and disrespectful treatment, and unexpected challenges to our self esteem and self confidence. When such negative events bombard your life, tend to pull you off track, and maybe even derail your "destination of the day," how do you recover and get back on the road without escalating into an accident you never expected? Or even more critical, "How do you condition your shock absorbers to cushion those negative bumps?

Some folks keep a list, and they go after those "negative speed bumps" to try to "straighten them out" or teach them a lesson." Sometimes the surprise is so great we wind up with a flat tire or a major accident, and it takes a long time to repair such a confrontation. Others have a variety of ways to "prepare" for these challenges to our self esteem like self study or support of others that helps us NOT depend on the agreement of others in order to have a robust self esteem. Such measures certainly help isolate ourselves from jarring attacks on our self worth, or at least cushion criticisms or threats that seem to be directed against us. Even smaller bumps like taking us for granted and lack of appreciation of all we do for others can take its toll on our shock absorbers over time.

So have you straightened out all those negative bumps on your road, or do some surprising bumps still sneak up on you? It takes us ALL a good while (maybe a lifetime) to pass Jesus' driving test. For example, about road vision He says we should first take the LOG out of our own eye before dealing with that speck in the eye of the one causing our negative bump in the road. That alone is like paving our road with "chip seal." It's amazing how much working from the inside out tends to smooth our road. He also says to go an extra mile with those who ask. That's sure a lot different from our typical goal of "getting home as fast as we can with minimum interruptions, isn't it? Normal ME-centered driving is sure different from OTHER-centered driving isn't it? Sounds like Jesus was the first to teach "defensive driving" that focuses on others.

And for the Christians He offers nine conditioners for our shock absorbers: love, joy, peace, long-suffering (includes patience), gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness (very strong; NOT weak), and temperance (self-control; actually control by the Holy Spirit). When your relationship and fellowship with God is so invigorating, satisfying, and overflowing with these nine fruit provided by His Spirit, there is NO negative bump that can derail you. For example He promises "great peace have they that love thy law, and NOTHING shall offend them." If your road repair (like ours) seems to be getting worse, why not put God in charge of your shock absorbers, and maybe even your road maintenance too?

Expectations

Life conforms a lot more than we realize to our expectations. Some time back we reviewed that account of switched class records where a class of prior under-achievers was treated like honor roll students and they became just that, and vice versa. What a dramatic example of how we perform according to what others think of us. On the other hand, when someone has written you off, or has said you will never amount to anything, how difficult is it for you to give it your best shot? Expectations that others have of us influence our motivation greatly. The cliques at school such as "smart kids" and the labeling of "dumb kids" can stick with you all your life. Sometimes swimming in a new pond like college however can shake up and normalize some of those prior judgments and labels.

When you attend a class, listen to a speaker, read a book, or go to a meeting, do you ever sense that what you get out of it relates to what you expect ahead of time? Likely what you expect also affects what you put into it and the extent to which you prepare. They say that it really helps your memory if you actively listen (say in class) as though you are retaining material that you are planning to teach to others. Merely having positive expectations about a class, helps you do better than you would have done without high expectations. Some of us older folks can hear Frank Sinatra singing about the rubber tree plant in the background about now, "you've got to have high, in the sky, apple pie hopes."

So most of us have experienced that high expectations can give a shot in the arm to an endeavor, and low or negative expectations can throw cold water on an activity! Then why do we often show such a disinterest and low expectation in things? Could it be that we feel more comfortable or secure in that rut we spoke of before? High expectations will get us out of a rut, but we must be prepared to pay the price of leaving behind the status quo, complacency, "business as usual," and excuses that give clues about our unwillingness to grow or change. Show me a person with consistently high expectations, and you will have identified someone that refuses to live "under their circumstances." My son-in-law's grandfather reports a conversation that went, "Hi, how are you doing?" "Well, OK I guess, under the circumstance." "What are you doing under there?" One answer very likely is, feeling sorry for myself which is a synonym for low expectations.

So far this might sound to some like I believe high expectations is a cure-all for everything; a great way to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps. Well, the truth is that you can't just manufacture high expectations. Everyone has some ups and downs with associated higher and lower expectations. But when you entrust your life to Jesus Christ, and start finding out some of the wonderful and personal promises He has for you, He begins to fill you with higher and higher expectations, based on His past performance and promises for your future. Others may reject Him and His ways, ignore Him, or fail to believe His promises, but the true believer experiences more joy and peace with the passing years. Why is this? Because we see more and more of just how much Jesus believes in us, that He would totally sacrifice Himself to pay for our sins so we could live with Him in heaven forever. He planned before the foundation of the world for us to be holy and without blame that is only possible due to the redemptive price Jesus paid for us on the cross. As we discover the extremely high expectations Jesus has for us, how can we be indifferent to our future and our current relationship with Him? What is keeping you from casting all your cares upon Him as your Lord and Savior, since He believed in you so intensely that He died and arose so you could follow Him back to heaven? That should be plenty to get us up early and expectantly out of bed each morning to meet privately with Him! When is the last time Jesus was your alarm clock?

Clinical Depression

Today we're looking at situational and clinical depression. Situational depression describes a downward mood swing that comes and goes with the situations we experience. But clinical depression is a serious mental illness, can persist indefinitely and requires help to escape from its hopeless pit of despair. Successful treatment of clinical depression generally requires medicine to help re-balance the brain chemistry so "normal" brain communication signals can resume. That's something like performing maintenance on an anti-aircraft search radar so it can once again detect and distinguish between friendly and enemy aircraft, instead of tying to process noise that would cause the "false alarm" readings to rise and make it impossible to perform its normal useful functions.

In the case of clinical depression, once medicine is used to adjust the brain chemistry back to a "normal" processing threshold, further refinements can be processed and further benefits can be experienced as outlined below. But until that more normal threshold of functioning is reached, other attempts to help or improve may only add more stress and make things worse. Another way to understand this is that clinical depression is not an indicator of a weak will or a spiritual problem. It is rather an illness needing medicine to balance brain chemistry prior to attempts to help with other human conditions and problems.

But is there anything a sufferer of depression can do to help their illness? For clinical depression first work with a psychiatrist to find a medicine that helps restore the brain chemistry. At that point both clinical and situational depression sufferers can benefit greatly from groups that provide ongoing support, education, and advocacy. Also at that point please consider the following. Discouragement and hopelessness are tenacious close cousins that can lead down to "situational depression." To disarm these two culprits let's first distinguish between what is, and what is not, under our control. Our daily circumstances can often be discouraging and are often NOT under our control. But our attitude and reaction to circumstances CAN be under our control. Repeated accumulation of letting our circumstances control our attitudes, feelings, choices, and actions, can eventually lead to feelings of hopelessness, like we are in a dark pit with no hope of ever climbing out again. So a major answer for hopelessness is preventive maintenance, i.e. taking control over our circumstance rather than vice versa, much like taking medicine can prevent relapse back into the black pit of depression. Of course this is much easier said than done. Therefore the following resources are presented for all that choose to use them, to great personal benefit.

Realistically facing our problems is the first basic step to discovering and dealing with the root causes. Discouragement can stem from our common plight of self-centeredness that has attributes including self-pity, self-indulgence, and self-pampering. God informs us that anything that we do apart from faith is sin in His eyes, since it is subtly based on unbelief (failing to act based on God's promises). So the starting point for a life-style change that is powerful enough to overcome discouragement is a new spiritual birth, experienced by depending solely on Jesus and His payment for all your sin on the cross. After you experience new life in union with Christ you can begin to see circumstances that formerly led to discouragement, hopelessness and depression as opportunities for God to use in your life to help you depend on Him more fully and see Him change your attitudes and circumstances as He chooses.

But discouragement must be replaced in order to experience victory over your circumstances. A powerful corollary to your new life in Christ is to experience "the God of all hope filling you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him." So once you are back to a normal level of brain chemistry balance and functioning, it is primarily your choice. You can experience new life in Christ that daily chooses to trust Him when discouraging circumstances arise, leading to hope, joy and peace instead of depressing hopelessness. God has created you to know and enjoy Him and His way forever. Or you can indulge in a pattern of self-pity, self-indulgence, and self-pampering. Will you continue to reap rebellious results or will you try out His way and experience new life in union with Jesus, able to grow and mature in Him, regardless of your circumstances? If you choose His way, you too can move from Depression to making an Impression. People will ask you how in the world you can be so full of hope, joy, and peace when your circumstances are so bleak, and you'll have an Answer.

From Depression to Impression

Many readers would not be expected to be familiar with the phrase "pressed into service." I was "pressed into service" of the U.S. Army via promised "greetings" from my Tulsa, OK Draft Board, so I enlisted in 1958 in order to be able to make some choices. That led to Army Artillery maintenance training on the Nike Ajax Fire Control System (Radars) followed by tours of training and teaching on Raytheon's HAWK Anti Aircraft Radar System. This latter system has developed over the decades into anti-missile missile systems like the Patriot and the Anti-Ballistic Missile Defense Ground Based Radar.

So what do depression and impression have in common? The letters "pression," that is similar to "pressed into service." Moving now to a more familiar subject, we can all understand that anyone who deals successfully with depression in destined to make an impression on others.

Successful treatment of clinical depression generally requires medicine to help re-balance the brain chemistry so "normal" brain communication signals can resume. That's something like maintaining the search radar so it properly detects and distinguishes between friendly and enemy aircraft, and does NOT present bogus radar screen clutter from NON-moving "targets" nor noise that causes the "false alarm" reading to rise, making it more difficult to process REAL information.

Once the brain chemistry is adjusted back to a "normal" processing threshold, further refinements can be processed and further benefits can be experienced as outlined below. Discouragement and hopelessness are close cousins that can lead to "situational depression." To disarm these two culprits let's first distinguish between what is, and what is not, under our control. Our daily circumstances can often be discouraging and are often NOT under our control. But our attitude and reaction to circumstances CAN be under our control. Repeated accumulation of letting our circumstances control our attitudes, feelings, choices, and actions, can eventually lead to feelings of hopelessness, like we are in a dark pit with no hope of ever climbing out again. So a major answer for hopelessness is preventive maintenance, i.e. taking control over our circumstance rather than vice versa. Of course this is much easier said than done. Therefore the following resources are presented for all that choose to use them, to great personal benefit.

Realistically facing our problems is the first basic step to discovering and dealing with the root causes. Discouragement stems from our common plight of self-centeredness that has attributes including self-pity, self-indulgence, and self-pampering. God informs us that anything that we do apart from faith is sin in His eyes, since it is subtly based on unbelief (failing to act based on God's promises). So the starting point for a life-style change that is powerful enough to overcome discouragement is a new spiritual birth, experienced by depending solely on Jesus and His payment for all your sin on the cross. After you experience new life in union with Christ you can begin to see circumstances that formerly led to discouragement and depression as opportunities for God to use in your life to help you depend on Him more fully and see Him change your attitudes and circumstances as He chooses.

But discouragement must be replaced in order to experience victory over your circumstances. A powerful corollary to your new life in Christ is to experience "the God of all hope filling you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him." So once you are back to a normal level of brain chemistry balance and functioning, it is primarily your choice. You can experience new life in Christ that chooses to trust Him when discouraging circumstances arise, leading to hope, joy and peace instead of depressing hopelessness. God has created you to know and enjoy Him and His way forever. Or you can indulge in a pattern of self-pity, self-indulgence, and self-pampering. Will you continue to reap rebellious results or will you experience new life in union with Jesus, able to grow and mature in Him, regardless of your circumstances? If you choose His way, you too can move from Depression to making an Impression.

Inverse Reputation

This past October our local NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) group won 1 of 20 competitive national grants to help educate the public about Bipolar Disorder. You know, brain chemistry imbalance that can cause someone to alternate between a high, invincible, daring, manic mood, and a low, depressive, negative, no-hope mood.

Today we're considering highs and lows in a similar but much different frame of reference, in the form of a puzzle. Why is it that the very brightest and creative folks with a reputation for genius are sometimes the least open to new ideas from others? Similarly why can a person who feels and acts low and humble and is not focused primarily on their own self, ironically be more open to benefit from the ideas of others and to understand and tune into the feelings and needs of others? The highly respected group may typically suffer from an overdose of pride and an accompanying "Not invented here" (NIH) syndrome. The second group may just be humble and desperate enough to try out someone else's idea in place of their own failures. Let me illustrate with a true story.

Many years ago I attended a talk on quality in the DF/W metroplex. At the end, one question stood out in that large audience. "Why do you suppose Japan accepted Deming's Total Quality Management principles at the same time the U.S. paid little attention?" The reason given by Japanese leaders is that after World War II they were so devastated and humiliated that they became able to admit that they desperately needed to improve to get back into the world wide marketplace and restore their economic viability. To accomplish this, they were willing to admit their needs, and to learn and follow Deming's training on the culture changes required to start down the path of Continuous Process Improvement. By comparison, most U.S. companies at that time were highly self reliant and independent. Only a few were brave enough to listen to, and empower, their front line workers to identify problems and solutions related to their daily tasks. Tried and true principles like these have worked irrespective of who applies them.

Jesus endorsed that those meek (not weak) enough to humble themselves could receive great benefit from what He told them. He said that those who put themselves on a pedestal are destined for a fall. Conversely those who humble themselves and refrain from elbowing up to the best seat at the table will later be asked to come up and take a prestigious seat that they deserve. Did Jesus know what He was talking about? He is the world's authority and example of humility, as recorded in Phillipians chapter 2. Has there been benefit stemming from His humility? Please read the record for yourself.

What the World needs now

"What the world needs now, is love, sweet love. That's the only thing there just isn't plenty of" was the song of the 60's. A wise author has written that mankind's basic common needs are "to love and be loved." I'm sure this conjures up a variety of feelings and ideas about what you have experienced love to really be. But let's just start with your own love experiences, good and bad. That sets the stage for recalling how others have treated you, from parents, to siblings, to school chums, to workplace folks, to that special person. We may have little control over how others treat us, but the basics still apply. "He that would have friends must show himself friendly."

So we do have control over how we treat others and ourselves, although we may not use it to good advantage. We know what it means in a marriage relationship to "cheat on our spouse." But let's use that as a reference for our understanding to think for a minute about how we cheat ourselves out of the ability to truly be free to love unconditionally. What are some of the things that block our love capacity? Grudges, unforgiveness, self-centeredness, "poor me syndrome," just plain selfishness, and "keeping score" all contribute to a poverty of spirit and attitude that robs ME of the freedom to truly love another!

What kind of love am I talking about? The kind of love I'm thinking of takes initiative in behalf of another, rejoices to see their happiness and enjoyment, and puts their enjoyment so far ahead of our own that ours doesn't get in the way. It doesn't allow the selfish actions and attitudes of others to detract from our ability to respond in love and to repay with kindness. That kind of love is it's own reward, whether it engenders a love response or not. At the end of life, can you imagine yourself feeling sorry you expressed too much love to others?

But where can we go to order a lifetime supply of love like that? We all know we need to give and receive love, but just where can we go to get our cup filled up to overflowing? The person who understands you best, believes in you the strongest, and has already shown the greatest unconditional love for you is Jesus Christ. "Greater love has no man than that he lay down his life for his friends." "But while we were yet sinners (His enemies) Christ died for us." His love initiative actions show us how very much God cares for us and wants us to be restored to unbroken fellowship with Him. But in addition to dying for us to pay for our sin, He lived for us as well, showing us step by step and day by day, how to live in a way that pleases God.

God is the only supplier of God's kind of love. He is not reluctant to provide all we need and all we can use. But He won't force His love on us, and He won't squander it on someone that doesn't deeply want and need it. Even when I want and intend to let His love flow through me to others, I still get surprised and find those love-capacity blockers listed above sneak in and take over, producing painful results. But when I start my day with a private quiet time with God, filling up with His love, I'm much less surprised and apt to get blind-sighted by those love-capacity blockers. How about you? Our patience and tolerance may run thin, especially as we tire out and have less control, but God's love never runs dry and never fails in its supply or effectiveness. But He can't fill us with His love when we have just ballooned up with pride, self-righteousness, self-justification, comparisons, or other such toxins. Get rid of those pollutants through repentance and get ready for what the world needs now!

Love is an action word

Today we're thinking back and remembering folks that stood out to us because we could unmistakably see how much they loved others. Love is an action word, isn't it? That means we can't bottle up love or hide it behind a curtain or under a bushel. Love always finds a way to show others tangible expressions of care and concern. It focuses on others, not on itself. It meets needs without having to be asked to help, because it is so sensitive that it hurts when others hurt.

Today I'm thinking of a lady in my Sunday School class at the nursing home. Someone may come into the large dining area where we meet, and she quickly observes that they may be more comfortable and be able to hear better up close. So she quietly gets up from our table, makes room for them and pushes their wheel chair right up close to the table, all without a word from anyone. Many residents there probably owe their life to her. An example is that last week she noticed someone did not respond when she greeted them in the hall. They were slumped down in their wheel chair so she called the nurse to help. Soon they took the lady to the hospital for help. Mildred's eyes and ears remain open to needs that others are blinded or callused to, and she quickly responds with help way before it is ever requested. She cares daily for her blind husband and I never hear her complain about her own hardships and difficulties.

I'll bet you too have seen folks like that at work behind the scenes, quietly working to help others even before they realize how much they need help. That's a lot like the way God helps us, isn't it? "While we were yet sinners, Christ did for us" the scriptures tell us. He saw how desperately mankind needed a sin payment and remedy, and when there was no other hope or way, Jesus chose to leave heaven to make that perfect payment on the cruel cross of Roman torture. As her husband describes why Jesus would do such a thing, he says it was because "God SO LOVED the world that He GAVE His only begotten Son, so that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Notice how God's love gives His best gift to us without holding anything back.

Have you ever given your best gift to someone who did not deserve it, would likely not appreciate it, and may actually reject you, the giver? If so you are VERY rare, but that should help you understand how much God loves us that He would not withhold His very best gift from us even though the majority of people choose to reject or ignore Him and the gift of His Son. We don't find a record of Jesus focusing on His own needs or difficulties. Instead He focused on our needs, and His ultimate mission to pay a debt He did not owe, a debt we could not pay, our sin debt that demanded a blood sacrifice from a perfect life.

This is the way God defines His kind of love in 1 Corinthians 13 that is so very different from the way we behave without His influence. "⁴Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
⁵It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
⁶It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
⁷Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].
⁸Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].

By the way, this passage reads even better when you substitute Jesus for Love, He for it, and Himself for itself, etc. Please read it once more aloud with those substitutions.

A famous hymn by Isaac Watts starts with,

"Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small;
Love so amazing, so devine
Demands my soul, my life, my all."

Love Is an Active Action Word

Who is the gift giver in your family? You know, the one that loves to give gifts all year long and gets great joy from it. And who is the GRINCH in your family? I mean the one that may like to GET gifts, but almost never plans ahead or takes initiative to plan, purchase, wrap and give gifts to others. The first type is usually thinking of others and what brings them enjoyment. The second type is self-focused and not much in tune with the needs of others. For example, if they both said they love you, which one would you be more apt to believe and why?

We have all been in situations where we felt others took advantage of us. Someone that says they love us but no deeds follow, can make us feel taken advantage of also.

At this season many of us ponder the expanse of God's love that would lead Him to offer His only Son on the cross to give us a chance at being with Him in heaven. Abraham gave his son Isaac as a sacrifice to God to demonstrate His obedience to, and worship of, God, counting by faith that God could raise Isaac from the dead once he was slain as an offering. In the very same way God the Father saw mankind's hopeless estate and offered His only Son on the cross so His blood could pay for our sins.

God's Christmas and Easter action gift demonstrates His love for us in the very most meaningful way, someone willing to die for me. That's why Jesus will have a few questions for us when we knock on hea